Monday, October 19, 2015

All Hail

Did you feel the earth move?

Did the skies darken just for a minute?

Did the world freeze for a minute?

Am I being dramatic?

.........well duh, because Adele is COMING! The preview ran on the X Factor Sunday and I have barely been able to contain my excitement.

Music is so important to me, clearly, and Adele writes the music that gives me life.  Quite literally, not being dramatic, she gives me life.

I will be stalking ITunes, just waiting.  Not patiently, just waiting.


P.S. Here's what is holding me over until the queen's album comes out.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Just a little bit of Hocus Pocus

This weekend was unexpectedly lovely, probably because it involved family.  I love my two ladies more than life itself, and spending just some quality time with my big sister was perfect.

And yes, I bought us onesies. We drank a lot of wine, talked about a lot of things, watched a lot of TV.  

I just love her beyond words. We also had a very honest conversation about if we became zombie's during a zombie outbreak we would shoot each other.  OK, fine, I wouldn't even be able to shoot her as a zombie, even if it meant she was going to kill me. 

She however, would have no issue, typical.

Also, going with the fall feeling, I made Gina's biscotti.

Fell in love with a rucksack. Who doesn't need this in their lives?

Filled my house with the heavenly smell of meaaaaaaaaat.

Stalking the hell out of vests for winter. Obsessed, completely obsessed.

Are you watching X Factor UK? Well you should be, this chick is unbelievable


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Make up your heart

This cover is everything. I'm heavily stalking this girl now. 

So I've been MIA lately.  I could say there's been a lot going on, because there has. I could say I'm unbelievably stressed out, which is sort of true.

But honestly, I haven't been proud of myself lately. I've been hiding out trying to figure out how to relax, which has made me all around lazy.

Finding comfort in food for a thick girl isn't the best idea. I've never been ashamed of my body, I've never been someone who thought they could be a size 2, but I know when I'm getting unhealthy.

Too much beer, too much junk, not enough exercise and eating right.  It's not a difficult equation, but there's always an excuse to not do the right thing.

I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm hungover.

I've had my picture taken a lot lately for different celebrations, and I honestly don't recognize myself. You know when girls look in the mirror and see a fatter version of themselves, well I seem to have the opposite problem.

I'm not saying it's time to go all nutzo, I'm saying it's time to make the girl in the mirror reflect the badass chick I really am again.  I've always struggled with my weight, but I know where I should be and this isn't it.

I'm not mad at being slightly chubby, but I'm mad at seeing that I've let myself get to a point where I am embarrassed to even smile for a picture. It's not about feeling I need to fit a certain mold, it's about being the best version I can be, and I'm not comfortable with the person I am showing right now.

Whew, that wasn't easy, because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but I can still be that and say I'm not happy with where my health is at right now.

All these Drake ITunes shopping sprees are about to pay off, it's time to get my Ronda Rousey on.

And no more beer. OK for a month. OK for a few weeks, but wine is basically a fruit.


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Link Love

Let the wedding madness officially begin!

Bridal shower: Check. Now onto the bachelorette party.

I have been successfully avoiding Atlantic City for 29 years now, but apparently that ends this weekend. 

I'll report back, or you'll hear me screaming from whatever part of the world you are in.

Help! I need a classic trench ASAP! Possibly this

Dana is giving me life on staying comfy this fall and still looking chic as hell.

Secretly trying to talk my recovering from an Achilles tear sister into getting the silver version of these for her wedding so I can get the black. (Pleassssssse Jackie!!)

My forever blog/girl crush Courtney Kerr has launched a YouTube channel! The first video is basically an ode to her love of big Texas hair and hairspray, and I love it!

As a loyal devotee of SkinnyTaste my jaw practically dropped when I caught this recipe yesterday. Yes, yes, yes.


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Wrap It Up

It's that time of year y'all.

Thats right, time for everyone to open their IG and see every girl rocking the blanket scarf, boots, and Starbucks.

I completely fell for this last year when I scooped up my first ASOS blanket scarf.

Oh, I remember the feeling of opening it and not being sure if it was meant for a tailgate blanket or for my neck.

But I got used to it and quickly fell in love with how it transformed an outfit. 

Oh and if you do it right, they can be the single thing that keeps you warm on those in-between days when you don't need a full jacket.

Grab one, hell grab the Starbucks too. Be basic, you'll be cute I promise.


Monday, September 21, 2015

Scream Queen

When too much is enough, sometimes one of the classics makes the biggest statement.

This woman won the Emmy's for me. 

OK, Mindy Kahling in that marigold did too, but Jamie Lee Curtis just made my jaw drop.

Simple, stunning, superb.

Killed IT.


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Nice to Meet You, Where you Been?

It's been a really tough week.  There have been a lot of tears, carbs, and couch time.

I've neglected this little part of my world because, well, there was too much other shit going on and I didn't feel like dumping it all somewhere for the world to see.

The week is almost over, and I think I have a hold of it again. I'm not accustomed to feeling overwhelmed or anxious in my life, and this new feeling hasn't been an easy one for me to deal with.

It's one of those times in my life where I just feel like I'm never going to get where I want to go, and everyone is taking steps forward, but I'm stuck.

Time to regroup, reorganize, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Whew, that was a nice pep talk for myself. 

Now it's time to apply it all. There is so much I want to do, so it's time to start doing it.


Monday, September 14, 2015

And I'll be me

Everything that's broke

Leave it to the breeze

A great cover by one of my favorite songs by one of my new favorite artists.


Friday, September 11, 2015


Sometimes I still can't believe this happened. One of those historic events that we will tell our kids about, or will be in the history books.
Everyone remembers where they were, how they felt.
I'll never forget the images, the snapshots of what was happening 2 hours away from me. Watching people run away.
And watching people run in.
This is a great country, and watching how everyone responded after this was a reminder of that.

Thursday, September 10, 2015


Life has been a bit stressful.  There has been a lot of changes in a small amount of time and it's actually starting to get to me.

My house is packed full of stuff, people seem to be everywhere all the time, and time is spinning out of control.

Usually a pretty laid back person, this feeling of panic isn't something I'm used to.  

Hence the reason my stress coping mechanisms are lacking.  I need to be able to handle high levels of stress at my age, but in my life stress hasn't been something I've had to deal with often.  

OK, high stress, like someone give me a Xanex stress. 

I finally bit the bullet and got the waterproof iPod and jumped back into the pool.

Literally, not figuratively.

Let me tell you y'all, life changing.  The world literally goes away, and it's just you and your jams.

I'm writing this, barely keeping my eyes open, but calmer. 

I didn't walk into my house, see the stacks of stuff everywhere and immediately start freaking out.  

Step in the right direction, I'm working on the rest.


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Heel Over

You know why I secretly have been lusting for fall?

Real talk: it's the only time of the year when I can wear heels that I can actually walk in.

That's right, booties and boot season is fall.

I don't know if it's the ankle support, or the overall structure, but boots are the only shoes I can wear without the fear of toppling over after a few cocktails.

OK, honestly I've fallen in heels sober enough times to make that statement just silly. Disregard.

What is it about getting older and not being able to walk in anything with a heel?  In college I would walk forever to get to a bar in heels from Target, without incident. 

Since I graduated and became an adult (sort of) anything higher than a flat and there's an 85% chance I'm flat on my face, sober or not.

At least for the fall I can make my legs look longer and my Kardashianish ass look better.

Well,  it's not there yet, but a girl can dream.


Thursday, September 3, 2015

Realized I loved you in the fall

I know September has barely shown it's face, but I'm all in for fall.

Give me pumpkin everything, give me leaves, give me sweaters and boots.

First up, buying every pumpkin coffee I can get my hands on. Slightly terrified of the idea of making it in a crock pot. Could it taste like chili if I do this?

These distressed skinnies look like the answer to my budget woes.  And a fall staple.

Seeing these booties on Dana has given me full on shoe envy.  

When I think of my dream outfit to rock in AC for my sister's bachelorette party, I think of this Courtney jumpsuit.  I would need industrial duck tape for my boobs, but a girl can dream.

How many black drapy shirts is too many? Honestly? This one looks important.

Maybe it is time to give bootcut jeans another whirl.  They seem to be everywhere.

What am I missing for fall?


Monday, August 31, 2015

I"ma let you finish

Ok I'm not even 30 and I didn't get this year's VMAs.

I got Tori Kelly.

(Go download her album, trust me you'll listen to it everyday)

I love me some Kanye West. I really think he's this misunderstood public figure who lost his mother and is still trying to process grief as an artist.  He really is a genius. Promise.

But I didn't get it. I want those tan Yeezus 350's, but I didn't get it.

I'll still vote for him over Trump.

Still love him and own every album, and love Kim. But didn't get it.

Didn't get A$AP's performance. Didn't get Miley's because, well I don't do drugs.  
I miss Britney with the snake, and NSYNC with the school background. 

Kanye should've performed. Taylor should've had a whole song. 

We missed a huge performance.

Kelly Clarkson in the rain, huge.

Beyonce medley huge.

JT reunion with NSYNC huge. 

No one is going to be talking about anything other than naked Miley or cray cray Kanye tomorrow.

I'm still #onlyhereforKanye and he deserved that award 110%.


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Just the Thought

The talent.

The harmonies.

The collaboration.

Dance party Thursday.


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

29 by 30

Me a few years ago, sober.

Yep, today I'm the big 2-9.

Nothing cool happens at 29, other than people making almost 30 jokes. 

There are a ton of things I want to accomplish this year. 

I want it to be a year of evolution and start out 30 feeling accomplished. 

I could make a list of goals, but I don't want to box myself into them.

This needs to be my year of "yes". I want to be overwhelmed and scared and still do it anyway.

I want to push myself so far outside my comfort zone I don't remember what that is anymore.

(Disclaimer: This still bans online dating, I'm still traumatized from AIM Catfishing)

Time to step my game up entirely. You can sleep when you're 30.

First step:plan an adventure. 

To be continued....


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Link Love

Currently obsessed with trying different recipes for cauliflower buffalo bites-this one is happening tonight.

Fellow Virgo's, how Virgo are you? At least Queen B is one of us.

On the verge of doing a makeup overhaul, do I go Naked or Chocolate?

Hallie compiled another outfit I'd like to wear all day, every day.  AMEN to being surrounded by boxes.

My love for BlackJaguarWhiteTiger's IG account is  unparalleled. I'm in love with what this foundation does, and these big cats. Why not support the cause?

Tequila in my chicken? Yes please.

Finished Ronda Rousey's book.  It's refreshing to read an autobiography by someone as famous as she is who write with honesty.  There are moments she sucked, and didn't do the right thing, but it's about the journey, and it's a good read.

Need a laugh? Cut to 5:15 in Sprinkle of Glitter's vlog. After a sobfest of a day Saturday, I discovered this gem in "My Suggestions" on  Youtube, and thank god for Louise.

I have a 3000 page paper to write tonight by midnight, so prayers would be accepted.


Sunday, August 23, 2015

House that Built Me

Growing up is weird.  You think you're an adult, you think you have this big life and you've moved on from all those things you were when you were younger.

Then you drive away from doing your sister's wedding invitations at your mom's, with boxes of memories in the car, and realize it was probably the last afternoon you will have spent there and just sob.

It's the house I grew up in.  It both broke me, and put me back together again.

The last place my family was a family, in the original sense.  The last place where memories of my life with my dad were, before life went upside down on us.

It's a strange feeling because I have my own home for the past three years, but that house is such a part of my life, and in a about a week it'll be gone.

Well not gone, gone, but I can't exactly walk in anymore can I?

No seriously, can I?

Packing up 22 years of a home has been emotional.  I found things I completely forgot about, and discovered other things I am thrilled to walk away with.

I'm not ready to close the door, but I never would be.

It's the right time now.

So I'll just be over here listening to Miranda Lambert's "House that Built Me" and crying for the next week or so.


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Mug Off

If you know two things about me you know:

1. I love my family more than anything.

2. I consider my coffee family.

Remember in 7th grade when you wanted to rebel when your mom told you not to drink coffee, so you'd wait until she left for work and brew a pot for yourself?


Just me then.  I've had a long love affair with this drink, and it just is more fun when you have something extra special to put it in. 

I have several of Ashley Brooke's mugs, and this Boss one is at the top of my wish list now.

And I've been stalking this Harry Potter mug, trying to justify spending the money on it. 

You guys the words appear when you pour the coffee in! 


OK, I'm totally chill.


Monday, August 17, 2015


This is a little Monday pick me up.

Doesn't this song remind you of that final song at the end of "Teen Witch"?

Well my weekend was spent buried under a pile of homework, but I've got it together and I'm ready for the next five days.

I realize I say this every week, but I'm serious this time.  Finished the Ronda Rousey book, cleaned most of the mess my mom left from cleaning out her house, and meal prepped like a boss.

And by cleaned I mean stored it all in my "office" until I can handle facing it all.

There's a time and place people.

Side note: I have a hair crush on Pierre.


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Something Big

I've got that feeling again everyone.

Maybe it's because my family's wedding madness is about to kick off.

Maybe it's because professionally a lot of changes are happening.

Maybe it's because I turn 29 in a few weeks.

Maybe it's because I can hear the postman getting as shipment of September Issues and I can't wait to get my hands on them.

But I just have that feeling something is brewing that is going to alter my life again. I had this feeling last year and my mom and sister got engaged.

In the meantime, I'm stress baking this tasty treat from Rachel Zoe, and watching too much Bravo.


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Mom the Meatloaf!

Summer eating is one of my favorite things.

Farmers markets, veggie stands, fresh everything.

Trying to turn a corner on healthy eating should be easy, but nothing is easy.

I've been searching for those easy recipes for a busy gal, that are perfect for that summer night.

A Greek salad is probably my favorite thing.  The feta, the olives, the light dressing.  Here's an easy recipe I plan on duplicating.

Of course Rosie, The Londoner, has the perfect alternative for your pizza cravings.

Jessica over at My Style Vita has a perfect, flavor packed Mexican dinner I can't wait to try,  With a jalapeño marg on the side.

Anyone else just crave a smoothie on a summer morning?  I have been so hard lately, here are another few ideas.

Holy pesto and tomatoes! YES PLEASE. And like 3 ingredients.

And for desert, chocolate chip zucchini bread.

Any ideas, please share.


Monday, August 10, 2015


"There’s not a single muscle on my body that isn’t for a purpose, because I’m not a Do Nothing Bitch.”– Ronda 

If you know anything about me you know I'm a girl who stands for girl power.

I blame it on growing up with the Spice Girls, but whatever.

The newest example I've found is Ronda Rousey.  I've never understood fighting, or the sport of it and I honestly have always felt it was gross.

Then I caught the hype of Ronda Rousey, YouTube-ed a few fights, and I'm in big.  She's a BADASS. Got her book, completely motivating and inspiring.  

Her story supplements the argument that she really is the greatest in the world at what she does.

You have to respect someone who puts her money where her mouth is, and these shirts are on my list.    

Not only do they stand for something that means so much to me with women empowerment, but a portion of the proceeds go to an organization to support mental health and women with body issues.

Now I want to kick someone's ass.  


Thursday, August 6, 2015

If It Makes You Happy

Just because it's #TBT and no one does it better than Kelly Clarkson.

Enjoy the moment.


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Girl Power

When you enter into a blogger world, either as a reader or a participant, you find those people/posts that inspire you.

I'm a loyal reader of a few blogs out there, they are my everyday.  I check them out of outfit inspiration, food porn, or just some fun.

Lets start with who I started with, Rosie over at The Londoner.

I remember stumbling across her on my search for breakfast food, where I found the ultimate egg recipe and then fell in love with her along the way.  She is witty, gorgeous, and takes some of my favorite photos.  Following her around the globe is inspiring, and the food choices never fail, except one for pancakes I'm convinced was my fault.

When it comes to style icons in reality I always go back to Mary over at So Then They Say. She has this simplistic, yet striking style and fashion choices that stop me in my tracks every time.

She is also well traveled and has an eye for interior design that just sucks you in.

When I want my daily reality check I go to Hallie at Corals and Cognacs.  She is real, unedited, and hilarious.

Her style is forward but attainable, and if you follow her on SnapChat, her daily schedules make you want to move your ass. Oh, and girl can walk and SnapChat like a BOSS.

When I want to get business motivated about blogging I go to Cathy at Poor Little It Girl and Jessica at My Style Vita.  Both are the boss ladies for the Southern Blog Society, which is a task I can't even wrap my head around.

If you are ever lacking in inspiration, head over to check them out, the level of organization to not only execute their own blogs, but keep together regions of bloggers blows my mind.  Oh, I'm impatiently waiting for the Northeast chapter to open.

Finally, we have Dana over at Pink Champagne Problems.  She's just the cutest.

Caught my eye as a Pittsburgh Penguins fan (duh), and kept it with her relatable writing and fashion.  Plus I think she likes a cocktail as much as I do, so I feel supported.

I keep getting inspired by these girls, and with my school/work/everything else schedule I am trying to find time to create a space here I'm really proud of.

Good things are coming.


Monday, August 3, 2015

Weekend Magic

This weekend was pretty perfect.

Spending the weekend meeting up with one of your oldest friends for a gorgeous dinner doesn't suck.

Heading to Hershey Hotel and Spa with your family for a weekend of pampering was the thing dreams are made of.

I was rubbed, scrubbed, and painted.  Celebrating my sister's upcoming wedding in only the way we do, together.

Now it's time to kick this week's ass.


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Four Letter Word

I'm going to say the dreaded four letter word: fall.

Yes y'all, summer is coming to a close and it's time to start thinking fall.  As someone who hasn't had sand between her toes all summer, I'm about ready for it.

Luckily for me, fall means wedding life kicks into overdrive.  Since both my sister and mother decided to get married (weirdos) I have to find a bunch of dresses for all the festivities.

There are so many rules. 

Don't wear white.
Don't wear anything close to white.
Don't look prettier than the bride.
Look gorgeous since you're the MOH/daughter and will be in tons of pictures.

On the bright side, I get to shop for a bunch of new dresses. 

One of the above I already have lined up for one of the events.

Any rules or tips I'm missing? I'm a novice wedding person here so I need all the help I can get.


Monday, July 27, 2015

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

That girl

Embedded image permalink

This girl.

This girl was my first real best friend.

This girl is the one who has known me at every stage of my life.

This girl is the one who loved me when I had headgear at sleepovers.

This girl has stood by me for over 20 years.

Happy Birthday Joynesy! My life would not have been what it is without having a best friend like you in it for the whole ride!


Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Link Love

I cannot stop raving about Amazon Prime Day.  I was skeptical, but was able to grab some essentials, probably my favorite being the Fire TV Stick.  

Being a longtime Amazon user, I've been watching Prime videos on my little Kindle, being able to access them on my TV is a luxury I didn't realize I was missing.

Next would be these Nikes.  I rarely invest in sneakers, for some reason I never see the need when I'm not training for a half marathon, but the price I got on these was embarrassingly low. 

Leave it to Ms. Kerr to illustrate how much I need a pair of girlfriend jeans in my life. I am still on the search for the perfect white T-shirt.

We all know I love my time in the kitchen, but with school it's not easy to find time.  Giving these guys a whirl.

Leave it to Hallie to introduce something I never knew I was missing in this bath caddy. Oh, it's $19.99 and my birthday is in a month.

Can someone point me in the direction of some magic skincare?  My late 20's is creating a monster that I never had, even in my teenage years.  Mary has a suggestion I may be looking into.

Not ready to accept this happened.  I can't talk about it yet. RIP Shelbert.


Thursday, July 16, 2015


This is an issue we have to deal with. This is not an issue that people have to die over.

For me, I've always known who I am.

I've never looked in the miror an felt uncomfortable or unsure.

I'm a strong, independent, blonde haired, green eyed woman who loves her family.

I've never had to define my sexuality or gender.  If I had to, luckily, I have the best family support in the world who would love me regardless.

It's easy to get caught up in the hype, the tabloids, the coverage.  You forget that Caitlyn Jenner is an American hero, an athlete, a child, a father.

You see the transformation without seeing the realization.

She is finally, after 60 plus years, who she always was.  

Imagine a Freaky Friday happened when you were born, and you spent your whole life opposite who you weren't in the mirror.  Then add the pressure of being an athlete, a husband, a father, a reality figure, and a gender icon.

Then turn it left.

I don't know if I would have the strength, but I thank god for all the people out there, and all the future people out there, that someone did.

That someone is Caitlyn Jenner. Making the world a better place.


P.S. There are certain people in my world who have opened my eyes wider recently, and just a reminder, I love you unconditionally.  Always.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015


If you love makeup or follow any fashion/beauty girl on IG you know the moment has come.  

It's a serious moment in out lives, the Urban Decay Smokey Eye Naked palette is OUT.

Yep, I can hear everyone still busting out of Sephora.  I personally love these palettes so I cannot wait to get my hands on one.

If you're sporting a summer tan, I hate you, and this is the best time of the year for makeup.  Everything looks better on tanned skin, fake if you care about your future Botox bill.

Grab a tinted moisturizer, a cream blush and a pretty lip and get out there. You don't need the crazy bronzers since you're already a bronzed baby.

If you're me, looking like an Edward Cullen relative you're faking it until you make it.

Anyone have the new Naked palette and have any reviews?


Monday, July 13, 2015


Hopefully everyone had a good weekend.

Mine involved a road trip per usual and some good live music/people watching.

More on that later this week.

Music on a Monday is a necessity, and this kid Shawn Mendes stole my heart when he stood on stage at the TSwifty concert with nothing but a guitar and KILLED it.

Of course I'm tuning in to a superstar already in progress as my bestie CBK already had this on lock.

Either that or the Ed Sheeran cover he did just got straight to me.

Happy Monday.


Friday, July 10, 2015

Have another beer

I feel like this summer it's officially summer.  I'm going to a concert, it's July, and it's hot as hell.

So what do you do when it's hot as hell?  Find new cocktails of course.

I've never been crazy about coconut, but tequila I love.  So mix it all together.

Heading to the tail end of shark week. Get it? Tail end? OK, well there's a blue cocktail for that.

Spicy and tequila. Where do I sign up?

Porch Crawlers.  It's a cocktail and a challenge. And there's beer.

Oh, I'll try all of them and report back.  If I can still read and/or type.


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Country girl shake it for me

Country concerts are what summer is about. 

The beer, the music, the fashion.

Now I've been to my fair share of country concerts, and I've rocked a lot of different looks.  None of them involved cowboy boots.

Never say never, but there's a 98% chance you'll never catch me in a pair.  It's just not me.

Flannel,  yes.  Whiskey, yes. Hats or boots, nope.

Since my sister is out of commission she has been sweet enough to bestow me with tickets for Kenny Chesney this weekend.  Now it won't be the same without her, seeing as it's our family tradition.

My first thought went to outfits.  Now above are some of the bad boys I want to get my hands on as part of my summer style, but are also country music approved.

Spoiler alert: I'm actually wearing one this weekend.


Tuesday, July 7, 2015


This weekend was a combination of all my favorite things: friends, family, beer, and holiday.

Not a lot of sleeping, a lot of long talks, and enough giggling to last me a lifetime.

Thursday was life changing seeing Magic Mike with my 2 besties.  GO, GO NOW!

Friday was one of the good old days, at my BFF's mom's house for a cookout and some good old college drinking games. Catching up on life, love, and everything in between.

Doing this whole family thing is new to me, and spending Saturday night with my new extended family was what I needed.  We sang to a couple of birthday kids, drank a lot, lit some stuff up, and had a deep 1AM convo.

Sunday I barely moved from bed. Not even sorry about it.

The only thing missing from this weekend was my sister, who is still on the road to recovery.  She is my family, my friend, and my bestie all rolled into one.  Soon she'll be back to being my partner in crime.

Follow the disaster on Snapchat @ejohns20.


Thursday, July 2, 2015

Make My Heart Work

Every once and a while there's a song you can't stop listening to.  You can't get it out of your head.  There is a definite summer jam.

This is mine.  We all know I love Brit pop music, and Tinie Tempah is no exception.  Last summer it was him and Cheryl on Crazy Stupid Love.

This summer, it's this song.  Try to get the beat out of your head, try to not dance whenever you hear it.  I dare you.

Hopefully everyone has a lovely long holiday weekend if you're in the USA.

Happy 4th of July!  I know so many people love this holiday, it's not in my top 3, but any time off of work I'll take.

As always, I planned to have an extra long, relaxing holiday weekend, which is quickly turning into something on every day.

OK that sounds obnoxious, I promise I'm not that exciting.

Please download this song.  Please don't blow your hands off lighting fireworks off. Please wear an embarrassingly patriotic shirt and say ""Merica" too many times. Please play a lot of Toby Keith.

Please report back.


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Shady Shadester

Full confession: I used to be a sun baby.  I was at the pool every day in the summer, and though mom did lather me with sunscreen, I don't think the amount of time I was in the water could withstand the SPF.

Then there was the high school/college years when my theory in life was "if you can't tone it, tan it".

Coming from German descent I get an unbelievable amount of sun.  Now that I'm older-ish and wiser-ish I know that sun isn't my best friend.  

I struggle with hats.  I have a phobia of my own ears, they stick out like no other, so hats are my worst nightmare.  Being someone who loves summer and accessories you would think I have a hat rack like no other.

Well, I'm going to try.  For the millionth time I am not going to the beach this summer because everyone in my family has to get married, so I don't feel the absolute need to grab the first hat I see.  I am perusing, I am being picky, and I am trying to get over myself.

I'm looking for the patio drinking hat.  There must be one out there for me. 

Anyone who knows a successful sunless tanner please help, my skin misses the tan I feel it.


Monday, June 29, 2015

Welcome to New York

Let's recap my Saturday everyone.

6:30 AM: Mom comes into the guest room where I'm pretty sure I sweat off 5lbs due to the heat in her house and wakes me up.  Wonder why we stayed up until 11:30pm drinking all the wine and talking all the talk with her fiancé.

6:35 AM: Mom comes back in to remind me she woke me up, in case I forgot.

6:45 AM: Mom offers to bring me coffee while I put on my makeup, because she knows how it's either that or deal with me growling at her until I get coffee.

7:20 AM: Get onto the bus and shimmy our way into our seats due to the two complete idiots in from of us who have used their reclining seats function liberally.

7:35 AM: Change seats to the section diagonally behind us or else deal with mom punching the seats in front of us for 3 hours and a possible bus brawl.

8:30 AM: Hear the lady across from us cough up a lung, then glance over to see her pull out a large freezer Ziploc bag and puke in it.

8:33 AM: Watch the puking lady Ziploc her bag and place it in the area in front of her seat, then close her eyes and start to snore.

9:00 AM: Mom gets her glasses out for the 100 time to stalk someone on Facebook with me, while lady across from us reaches for the puke Ziploc bag.

9:15 AM: Puke lady goes back at it for a few minutes, loudly, then returns the Ziploc to her front area, then pulls out her cell phone and starts giving someone directions in German.

10:00 AM: Puke lady goes to the bathroom, then returns to retrieve her puke bag to fill it up some more for one final time.

10:30 AM: Walk through the doors of Macy's, not even realizing that was the last fresh air I would have for almost 5 hours.

10:35 AM: Starbucks, large Starbucks.

10:45 AM: Walk into the Bridal Salon at Macy's and immediately have my Starbucks plucked away.  She lived, barely.

11:30 AM: Mom finds a dress, while I sit and watch people I've only seen before on Jerseylicious reenact a scene from "Say Yes to the Dress".

12:35 PM: Mom finds another dress, I stare at a tiara that retails for $3840 wondering the purpose of my existence without my Starbucks. Also, I probably need that tiara for my birthday.

1:30 PM: Walking out of the bridal salon promising I'm never getting married, or if I do it will involve Elvis.

2:30 PM: Mom begs the lovely man directing traffic at the escalators to direct her toward a restaurant with a bar before I kill someone.

2:40 PM: My butt barely hits the bar stool before I order a Bloody Mary from the bartender with a twinkle in his eye and promise him a place in heaven.

3:00 PM: Wander through the bedding department and wonder if anyone would really find me if I slipped under the last set of down comforters.

3:30 PM: Mom goes off to find presents for the little kids we love while I find a Trenta iced coffee and a seat next to an outlet to charge my phone and pass out. 

4:30 PM: What is that thing up there, is that the sky?  What year is it? Who is the president? Where am I?

4:45 PM: Sephora, I remember you old friend.  I wonder if I can wedding dress shopping guilt mom into buying me that lipstick Joynes wanted me to try?

4:50 PM: Yes, yes I can.


6:30 PM: Good wine, oh hello bus, I wonder how Ziploc puke lady enjoyed her day.

6:35 PM: Puke lady must have decided to stay, well at least we get to shove our knees into the seats in front of us so those jackasses don't end up in my lap again.

7:35 PM: I thought this Exodus movie the bus driver was playing was a family friendly movie, but Christian Bale is not family friendly.

9:00 PM: I need to go to church, mixing Moses and Noah up reflects badly.  That movie would've been better with Emma Watson.  

9:45 PM: Realize I only took pictures of alcohol with my phone while my camera sat sadly in my bag all day, bad blogger.

10:30 PM: Goodbye bus of hell, hello my car, goodbye mommy.

10:45 PM: (face slams into bed)

11:00 PM: Ew, New York body needs a shower.

11:10 PM: (face slams into bed) Goodbye Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all.