Sunday, April 7, 2013

Dream dream dream

Ok have you ever had one of those dreams that is so vivid you can't get it out of your head?  Yeah I had one of those....

Now it would've been all the drinks I consumed last night, but I rarely remember my dreams so this one has me completely thrown off and my mind going. 

 One of my best friends from high school has essentially disappeared from existence, no one hears from her, no one really talks to her.  I dreamt that it was her little brother's engagement party and me and my other best friend from high school went.  Halfway through said party this friend walks in, I literally am walking toward her to give her the biggest hug ever when she walks past me to hug our other friend and doesn't even look at me, when I ask her what is wrong she says "Erin I hate you, you made me feel horrible about myself in high school". 

......Ok this has made me start going through my brain catalog all day, thinking about if this is true or not.  Now of course it isn't, we were super close, but it just made me feel really bad.  I was in no means a bully or someone who was mean for no reason in high school, but if I didn't like you I didn't really give you the time of day.  I had a great group of friends who I had been with forever and I'm a very blunt person by nature but I never went after people or would make anyone feel bad about themselves.  
I really loved this girl so it's hard for me to think that she would even ever be mad at me, needless to say it's been haunting me all morning.

blurry prom pic (dream friend is the second from the right)

I've been having this evaluation on myself all week, am I too blunt, am I not nice enough, etc.  I am a lot like my Dad in this respect, if I love you I will go to the ends of the earth for you, if I don't like you, just keep it moving.  I tend to make very quick decisions on people which probably isn't the best idea, but it's me and going with my gut on people hasn't lead me on many wrong paths.  

I need to go for a long run (ew) to clear my head, but I have zero motivation.  I am doing the Race for Hope for Brain Cancer in DC in May that I do every year in honor of my Dad, and the half marathon is only getting closer, but all I want to do is lay on my couch and search for puppies on PetFinder.......hmmmm