Link Love

Let the wedding madness officially begin!

Bridal shower: Check. Now onto the bachelorette party.

I have been successfully avoiding Atlantic City for 29 years now, but apparently that ends this weekend. 

I'll report back, or you'll hear me screaming from whatever part of the world you are in.

Help! I need a classic trench ASAP! Possibly this. 

Dana is giving me life on staying comfy this fall and still looking chic as hell.

Secretly trying to talk my recovering from an Achilles tear sister into getting the silver version of these for her wedding so I can get the black. (Pleassssssse Jackie!!)

My forever blog/girl crush Courtney Kerr has launched a YouTube channel! The first video is basically an ode to her love of big Texas hair and hairspray, and I love it!

As a loyal devotee of SkinnyTaste my jaw practically dropped when I caught this recipe yesterday. Yes, yes, yes.

I'm missing you like candy.

xoxo,

Erin

Reset

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Life has been a bit stressful.  There has been a lot of changes in a small amount of time and it's actually starting to get to me.

My house is packed full of stuff, people seem to be everywhere all the time, and time is spinning out of control.

Usually a pretty laid back person, this feeling of panic isn't something I'm used to.  

Hence the reason my stress coping mechanisms are lacking.  I need to be able to handle high levels of stress at my age, but in my life stress hasn't been something I've had to deal with often.  

OK, high stress, like someone give me a Xanex stress. 

I finally bit the bullet and got the waterproof iPod and jumped back into the pool.

Literally, not figuratively.

Let me tell you y'all, life changing.  The world literally goes away, and it's just you and your jams.

I'm writing this, barely keeping my eyes open, but calmer. 

I didn't walk into my house, see the stacks of stuff everywhere and immediately start freaking out.  

Step in the right direction, I'm working on the rest.

xoxo,

Erin

29 by 30

Me a few years ago, sober.

Yep, today I'm the big 2-9.

Nothing cool happens at 29, other than people making almost 30 jokes. 

There are a ton of things I want to accomplish this year. 

I want it to be a year of evolution and start out 30 feeling accomplished. 

I could make a list of goals, but I don't want to box myself into them.

This needs to be my year of "yes". I want to be overwhelmed and scared and still do it anyway.

I want to push myself so far outside my comfort zone I don't remember what that is anymore.

(Disclaimer: This still bans online dating, I'm still traumatized from AIM Catfishing)

Time to step my game up entirely. You can sleep when you're 30.

First step:plan an adventure. 

To be continued....

xoxo,
Erin

House that Built Me

Growing up is weird.  You think you're an adult, you think you have this big life and you've moved on from all those things you were when you were younger.

Then you drive away from doing your sister's wedding invitations at your mom's, with boxes of memories in the car, and realize it was probably the last afternoon you will have spent there and just sob.

It's the house I grew up in.  It both broke me, and put me back together again.

The last place my family was a family, in the original sense.  The last place where memories of my life with my dad were, before life went upside down on us.

It's a strange feeling because I have my own home for the past three years, but that house is such a part of my life, and in a about a week it'll be gone.

Well not gone, gone, but I can't exactly walk in anymore can I?

No seriously, can I?

Packing up 22 years of a home has been emotional.  I found things I completely forgot about, and discovered other things I am thrilled to walk away with.

I'm not ready to close the door, but I never would be.

It's the right time now.

So I'll just be over here listening to Miranda Lambert's "House that Built Me" and crying for the next week or so.

xoxo,
Erin

Something Big

I've got that feeling again everyone.

Maybe it's because my family's wedding madness is about to kick off.

Maybe it's because professionally a lot of changes are happening.

Maybe it's because I turn 29 in a few weeks.

Maybe it's because I can hear the postman getting as shipment of September Issues and I can't wait to get my hands on them.

But I just have that feeling something is brewing that is going to alter my life again. I had this feeling last year and my mom and sister got engaged.

In the meantime, I'm stress baking this tasty treat from Rachel Zoe, and watching too much Bravo.

xoxo,
Erin

Weekend Magic

This weekend was pretty perfect.

Spending the weekend meeting up with one of your oldest friends for a gorgeous dinner doesn't suck.

Heading to Hershey Hotel and Spa with your family for a weekend of pampering was the thing dreams are made of.

I was rubbed, scrubbed, and painted.  Celebrating my sister's upcoming wedding in only the way we do, together.

Now it's time to kick this week's ass.

xoxo,
Erin

That girl

This girl.

This girl was my first real best friend.

This girl is the one who has known me at every stage of my life.

This girl is the one who loved me when I had headgear at sleepovers.

This girl has stood by me for over 20 years.

Happy Birthday Joynesy! My life would not have been what it is without having a best friend like you in it for the whole ride!

xoxo,
Erin

OK

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This is an issue we have to deal with. This is not an issue that people have to die over.

For me, I've always known who I am.

I've never looked in the miror an felt uncomfortable or unsure.

I'm a strong, independent, blonde haired, green eyed woman who loves her family.

I've never had to define my sexuality or gender.  If I had to, luckily, I have the best family support in the world who would love me regardless.

It's easy to get caught up in the hype, the tabloids, the coverage.  You forget that Caitlyn Jenner is an American hero, an athlete, a child, a father.

You see the transformation without seeing the realization.

She is finally, after 60 plus years, who she always was.  

Imagine a Freaky Friday happened when you were born, and you spent your whole life opposite who you weren't in the mirror.  Then add the pressure of being an athlete, a husband, a father, a reality figure, and a gender icon.

Then turn it left.

I don't know if I would have the strength, but I thank god for all the people out there, and all the future people out there, that someone did.

That someone is Caitlyn Jenner. Making the world a better place.

xoxo,

Erin

P.S. There are certain people in my world who have opened my eyes wider recently, and just a reminder, I love you unconditionally.  Always.

Young

This weekend was a combination of all my favorite things: friends, family, beer, and holiday.

Not a lot of sleeping, a lot of long talks, and enough giggling to last me a lifetime.

Thursday was life changing seeing Magic Mike with my 2 besties.  GO, GO NOW!

Friday was one of the good old days, at my BFF's mom's house for a cookout and some good old college drinking games. Catching up on life, love, and everything in between.

Doing this whole family thing is new to me, and spending Saturday night with my new extended family was what I needed.  We sang to a couple of birthday kids, drank a lot, lit some stuff up, and had a deep 1AM convo.

Sunday I barely moved from bed. Not even sorry about it.

The only thing missing from this weekend was my sister, who is still on the road to recovery.  She is my family, my friend, and my bestie all rolled into one.  Soon she'll be back to being my partner in crime.

Follow the disaster on Snapchat @ejohns20.

xoxo,
Erin

Make My Heart Work

Every once and a while there's a song you can't stop listening to.  You can't get it out of your head.  There is a definite summer jam.

This is mine.  We all know I love Brit pop music, and Tinie Tempah is no exception.  Last summer it was him and Cheryl on Crazy Stupid Love.

This summer, it's this song.  Try to get the beat out of your head, try to not dance whenever you hear it.  I dare you.

Hopefully everyone has a lovely long holiday weekend if you're in the USA.

Happy 4th of July!  I know so many people love this holiday, it's not in my top 3, but any time off of work I'll take.

As always, I planned to have an extra long, relaxing holiday weekend, which is quickly turning into something on every day.

OK that sounds obnoxious, I promise I'm not that exciting.

Please download this song.  Please don't blow your hands off lighting fireworks off. Please wear an embarrassingly patriotic shirt and say ""Merica" too many times. Please play a lot of Toby Keith.

Please report back.

xoxo,
Erin

Welcome to New York

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Let's recap my Saturday everyone.

6:30 AM: Mom comes into the guest room where I'm pretty sure I sweat off 5lbs due to the heat in her house and wakes me up.  Wonder why we stayed up until 11:30pm drinking all the wine and talking all the talk with her fiancé.

6:35 AM: Mom comes back in to remind me she woke me up, in case I forgot.

6:45 AM: Mom offers to bring me coffee while I put on my makeup, because she knows how it's either that or deal with me growling at her until I get coffee.

7:20 AM: Get onto the bus and shimmy our way into our seats due to the two complete idiots in from of us who have used their reclining seats function liberally.

7:35 AM: Change seats to the section diagonally behind us or else deal with mom punching the seats in front of us for 3 hours and a possible bus brawl.

8:30 AM: Hear the lady across from us cough up a lung, then glance over to see her pull out a large freezer Ziploc bag and puke in it.

8:33 AM: Watch the puking lady Ziploc her bag and place it in the area in front of her seat, then close her eyes and start to snore.

9:00 AM: Mom gets her glasses out for the 100 time to stalk someone on Facebook with me, while lady across from us reaches for the puke Ziploc bag.

9:15 AM: Puke lady goes back at it for a few minutes, loudly, then returns the Ziploc to her front area, then pulls out her cell phone and starts giving someone directions in German.

10:00 AM: Puke lady goes to the bathroom, then returns to retrieve her puke bag to fill it up some more for one final time.

10:30 AM: Walk through the doors of Macy's, not even realizing that was the last fresh air I would have for almost 5 hours.

10:35 AM: Starbucks, large Starbucks.

10:45 AM: Walk into the Bridal Salon at Macy's and immediately have my Starbucks plucked away.  She lived, barely.

11:30 AM: Mom finds a dress, while I sit and watch people I've only seen before on Jerseylicious reenact a scene from "Say Yes to the Dress".

12:35 PM: Mom finds another dress, I stare at a tiara that retails for $3840 wondering the purpose of my existence without my Starbucks. Also, I probably need that tiara for my birthday.

1:30 PM: Walking out of the bridal salon promising I'm never getting married, or if I do it will involve Elvis.

2:30 PM: Mom begs the lovely man directing traffic at the escalators to direct her toward a restaurant with a bar before I kill someone.

2:40 PM: My butt barely hits the bar stool before I order a Bloody Mary from the bartender with a twinkle in his eye and promise him a place in heaven.

3:00 PM: Wander through the bedding department and wonder if anyone would really find me if I slipped under the last set of down comforters.

3:30 PM: Mom goes off to find presents for the little kids we love while I find a Trenta iced coffee and a seat next to an outlet to charge my phone and pass out. 

4:30 PM: What is that thing up there, is that the sky?  What year is it? Who is the president? Where am I?

4:45 PM: Sephora, I remember you old friend.  I wonder if I can wedding dress shopping guilt mom into buying me that lipstick Joynes wanted me to try?

4:50 PM: Yes, yes I can.

5:00 PM: WINE PLEASE, ALL THE WINE.

6:30 PM: Good wine, oh hello bus, I wonder how Ziploc puke lady enjoyed her day.

6:35 PM: Puke lady must have decided to stay, well at least we get to shove our knees into the seats in front of us so those jackasses don't end up in my lap again.

7:35 PM: I thought this Exodus movie the bus driver was playing was a family friendly movie, but Christian Bale is not family friendly.

9:00 PM: I need to go to church, mixing Moses and Noah up reflects badly.  That movie would've been better with Emma Watson.  

9:45 PM: Realize I only took pictures of alcohol with my phone while my camera sat sadly in my bag all day, bad blogger.

10:30 PM: Goodbye bus of hell, hello my car, goodbye mommy.

10:45 PM: (face slams into bed)

11:00 PM: Ew, New York body needs a shower.

11:10 PM: (face slams into bed) Goodbye Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all.

xoxo,

Erin

They Are the Hunters

I saw Taylor Swift this weekend.

You guys.

It was the closest thing to church I've been to in a long time, if your church resembles a middle school sleepover.

It was wall to wall sparkling little girls with signs with lights.  There were costumes I had to spend a lot of time explaining to my mom. I saw choreographed dances to each song, I saw screaming, I saw a grandmother with a walker singing every word.

This is what Taylor Swift does to us.  She makes it impossible to not be drawn in to the feelings, the feelings we all have at some point.

She sparkled, danced her butt off, and brought Olivia Benson. The person, not her cat.

It was perfection, and I had no voice today.  If you can, go immediately!

Oh, I was SCREAMING to this song.

xoxo,
Erin

If I Knew What I Was Doing

10 years ago I graduated high school. 

I'm sorry I just had a mild panic attack typing that, I'm OK now.

There are so many things I wish I knew and so many things I wish I would have appreciated.  

1. Stop worrying, stop wondering if you'll ever find that happiness you had before Dad died. You do

and you will. 

2.  You won't lose touch with Catie, she's a constant and always will be.

3. Go to your 8am class, the freedom isn't as cool when your professor forgets your name and you

barely pass the exams because you're too hungover.

4. None of the friends you made in college will be your friends in 2 years. Stop trying to dedicate your time to pleasing them, shit hits the fan.

5. Wine in a box is an investment in your future.

6. Your mom won't marry anyone until it's the right one. Don't worry she knows how to pick them.

7. Your sister will be fine, she will figure out what she is perfect at in life and stick with it. 

8. Go to the gym more, stop eating McDonald's at 2am.

9. Don't play quarters with Rikaoff, it doesn't turn out well.  Ever.

10. Let your mom give you the first aid kit when you move into college. Trust me you will take too many shots of Bacardi one night and appreciate it.

xoxo,
Erin

College Kid

OK, straight up, my weekend had a lot of drinks and not enough work. I spent it catching up with my oldest best friend, who I literally can't imagine my life without. 

We've been best friends since second grade, she knows where the bodies are buried. She really is my sister and there's so many exciting events coming up in her life I'm just thrilled for her.

I ran a few errand with my mom for my sisters wedding. That shindig is right around the corner and it's starting to scare me. 

I drank wine before noon.

I watched the first Harry Potter.

 

I didn't do enough homework. 

I regret nothing.

Xoxo,

Erin

Ready, Steady

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It's here!  After the snow and the polar freeze it's finally here!

SUMMER Y'ALL!

Break out the shorts, flip flops, cold beer (well more of it) and sundresses!

Spend the time outside of the office laying by a pool or taking a trip to the beach.

Go day drinking and watch a baseball game. 

Grab a friend with a Jeep, take the roof off and drive with your hair whipping around.

Call out of work to lay out on the deck so you don't look like a vampire. Oh, that's just my summer plan.

Enjoy the long weekend you all are hopefully getting while celebrating Memorial Day.  

And all the beer.

xoxo,

Erin

Hero comes along

There is no one in the world like my mother. I know everyone says that, but in my case it's true.

This woman is ridiculously courageous, hilarious and loyal.  She has been able to stand on her own, yet give herself completely to her family.

I often wonder how people who don't have a mother like mine get through life, and luckily my mom is proof that they can become great mothers.

Whenever I am lost, confused or just wrong, she makes it right.  She always has the right answer, the perfect comfort, and the strength. 

She has been endlessly tested and life, and she's never wavered.  She is my constant, my North Star.

And luckily, she's my mommy.

Hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day!

xoxo,

Erin

That Fireball Whiskey

As happy as I've been to see a sneak peek of summer weather, I underestimated the devil: pollen.  So I've been battling this week, but it's nothing a little Fireball and some sleep can't cure.

Dana had posted about this book on her IG yesterday and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy.

Still stalking this bag.  Sale prayers my way please.

One of my favorite TV moms finally gets a tribute just in time for Mother's Day this weekend.

What I'm sipping on.

As the weather gets warmer, my skin gets crazier, don't worry Courtney's got our back ladies.

xoxo,

Erin

Remember

I remember 12 years ago today trying to hold onto every moment, terrified that I would forget him once he was gone.  

Now I know, luckily, that's impossible.  

I still hear his voice in my head when I'm frustrated saying "Baby Bird, you win some, you lose some".  

When I miss his face, all I have to do is look at my sister.

When I wonder what he would think, I still have his best friend in my mother.

It's true what they say, the ones you love never really leave you.

How lucky was I to have someone who left an imprint on my life, and that I loved so completely?

I miss him every day. 

I will continue to miss him every day, but that's the trade when you only get 16 years with a father who loved you as much as he loved me.

xoxo,

Erin

But this is my city

I wasn't born in Baltimore, I don't live in Baltimore, but living a short distance from the city itself for almost 20 years my heart is broken.

Understand that justice is deserved, that there needs to be actions for the lives lost.  Understand that violence and looting does not lift your voices higher.  

Baltimore is a great city, Baltimore has great people. What is happening right now is not for the man who died. 

Let's take a message from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr:

The old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.

Praying for peace.

xoxo,
Erin

Until I Made My Getaway

This weekend was made up of moving, allergies, good makeup, patio drinking, sweat pant drinking, laziness and best friends.

I'm ready to kick this week's ass.

Getting back on my blog game.

Kicking ass.

xoxo,
Erin