Monday, November 11, 2013

I've got a feeling.....

Ok, whenever you are doing something intense, bad or insane do you get a feeling?  I always do, it shoots into my hands.  I can't explain it, whenever I feel something crazy I always get this crazy feeling in my hands, like fireworks going off.  I think I'm a pretty good liar, but whenever I am telling a serious lie, I feel it.  Whenever I meet a guy that is going to be a serious part of my life I feel it.  Whenever I kiss a guy that means anything to me I feel it.  Whenever I am doing something insane I feel it.

With guys I have felt it with a few, one in particular.  I feel like part of the reason I have been single for this long is because I know that feeling and until I feel it again I think I'm just settling.  I don't believe in love at first sight, I'm a huge believer in ending up with your best friend, but the feeling that person gives you I believe in.  I remember distinctly the feeling with I met this one guy, the feeling shot into my hands and that was it, for a long time I was stuck, and every guy I've met since when I don't get that shooting feeling I just move on.  It might have just been him, but I don't want to give him that much credit, he's an ass.

I worry I won't feel it again, that shooting feeling with a guy, like BAM he's it.  God I hope not, he sucks.

I have to keep believing, that person doesn't suck, I will get that shooting feeling again with a guy, I will get that ending.  Or I will be 75 with 10 dogs and a lot of clothes.


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