This weekend was unexpectedly lovely, probably because it involved family. I love my two ladies more than life itself, and spending just some quality time with my big sister was perfect.
And yes, I bought us onesies. We drank a lot of wine, talked about a lot of things, watched a lot of TV.
I just love her beyond words. We also had a very honest conversation about if we became zombie's during a zombie outbreak we would shoot each other. OK, fine, I wouldn't even be able to shoot her as a zombie, even if it meant she was going to kill me.
This cover is everything. I'm heavily stalking this girl now.
So I've been MIA lately. I could say there's been a lot going on, because there has. I could say I'm unbelievably stressed out, which is sort of true.
But honestly, I haven't been proud of myself lately. I've been hiding out trying to figure out how to relax, which has made me all around lazy.
Finding comfort in food for a thick girl isn't the best idea. I've never been ashamed of my body, I've never been someone who thought they could be a size 2, but I know when I'm getting unhealthy.
Too much beer, too much junk, not enough exercise and eating right. It's not a difficult equation, but there's always an excuse to not do the right thing.
I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm hungover.
I've had my picture taken a lot lately for different celebrations, and I honestly don't recognize myself. You know when girls look in the mirror and see a fatter version of themselves, well I seem to have the opposite problem.
I'm not saying it's time to go all nutzo, I'm saying it's time to make the girl in the mirror reflect the badass chick I really am again. I've always struggled with my weight, but I know where I should be and this isn't it.
I'm not mad at being slightly chubby, but I'm mad at seeing that I've let myself get to a point where I am embarrassed to even smile for a picture. It's not about feeling I need to fit a certain mold, it's about being the best version I can be, and I'm not comfortable with the person I am showing right now.
Whew, that wasn't easy, because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but I can still be that and say I'm not happy with where my health is at right now.
All these Drake ITunes shopping sprees are about to pay off, it's time to get my Ronda Rousey on.
And no more beer. OK for a month. OK for a few weeks, but wine is basically a fruit.
Secretly trying to talk my recovering from an Achilles tear sister into getting the silver version of these for her wedding so I can get the black. (Pleassssssse Jackie!!)
My forever blog/girl crush Courtney Kerr has launched a YouTube channel! The first video is basically an ode to her love of big Texas hair and hairspray, and I love it!
As a loyal devotee of SkinnyTaste my jaw practically dropped when I caught this recipe yesterday. Yes, yes, yes.
It's been a really tough week. There have been a lot of tears, carbs, and couch time.
I've neglected this little part of my world because, well, there was too much other shit going on and I didn't feel like dumping it all somewhere for the world to see.
The week is almost over, and I think I have a hold of it again. I'm not accustomed to feeling overwhelmed or anxious in my life, and this new feeling hasn't been an easy one for me to deal with.
It's one of those times in my life where I just feel like I'm never going to get where I want to go, and everyone is taking steps forward, but I'm stuck.
Time to regroup, reorganize, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Whew, that was a nice pep talk for myself.
Now it's time to apply it all. There is so much I want to do, so it's time to start doing it.
Life has been a bit stressful. There has been a lot of changes in a small amount of time and it's actually starting to get to me.
My house is packed full of stuff, people seem to be everywhere all the time, and time is spinning out of control.
Usually a pretty laid back person, this feeling of panic isn't something I'm used to.
Hence the reason my stress coping mechanisms are lacking. I need to be able to handle high levels of stress at my age, but in my life stress hasn't been something I've had to deal with often.
OK, high stress, like someone give me a Xanex stress.
I finally bit the bullet and got the waterproof iPod and jumped back into the pool.
Literally, not figuratively.
Let me tell you y'all, life changing. The world literally goes away, and it's just you and your jams.
I'm writing this, barely keeping my eyes open, but calmer.
I didn't walk into my house, see the stacks of stuff everywhere and immediately start freaking out.
Step in the right direction, I'm working on the rest.
You know why I secretly have been lusting for fall?
Real talk: it's the only time of the year when I can wear heels that I can actually walk in.
That's right, booties and boot season is fall.
I don't know if it's the ankle support, or the overall structure, but boots are the only shoes I can wear without the fear of toppling over after a few cocktails.
OK, honestly I've fallen in heels sober enough times to make that statement just silly. Disregard.
What is it about getting older and not being able to walk in anything with a heel? In college I would walk forever to get to a bar in heels from Target, without incident.
Since I graduated and became an adult (sort of) anything higher than a flat and there's an 85% chance I'm flat on my face, sober or not.
At least for the fall I can make my legs look longer and my Kardashianish ass look better.
I know September has barely shown it's face, but I'm all in for fall.
Give me pumpkin everything, give me leaves, give me sweaters and boots.
First up, buying every pumpkin coffee I can get my hands on. Slightly terrified of the idea of making it in a crock pot. Could it taste like chili if I do this?
These distressed skinnies look like the answer to my budget woes. And a fall staple.
When I think of my dream outfit to rock in AC for my sister's bachelorette party, I think of this Courtney jumpsuit. I would need industrial duck tape for my boobs, but a girl can dream.
How many black drapy shirts is too many? Honestly? This one looks important.
Maybe it is time to give bootcut jeans another whirl. They seem to be everywhere.
Ok I'm not even 30 and I didn't get this year's VMAs.
I got Tori Kelly.
(Go download her album, trust me you'll listen to it everyday)
I love me some Kanye West. I really think he's this misunderstood public figure who lost his mother and is still trying to process grief as an artist. He really is a genius. Promise.
But I didn't get it. I want those tan Yeezus 350's, but I didn't get it.
I'll still vote for him over Trump.
Still love him and own every album, and love Kim. But didn't get it.
Didn't get A$AP's performance. Didn't get Miley's because, well I don't do drugs.
I miss Britney with the snake, and NSYNC with the school background.
Kanye should've performed. Taylor should've had a whole song.
We missed a huge performance.
Kelly Clarkson in the rain, huge.
Beyonce medley huge.
JT reunion with NSYNC huge.
No one is going to be talking about anything other than naked Miley or cray cray Kanye tomorrow.
I'm still #onlyhereforKanye and he deserved that award 110%.
On the verge of doing a makeup overhaul, do I go Naked or Chocolate?
Hallie compiled another outfit I'd like to wear all day, every day. AMEN to being surrounded by boxes.
My love for BlackJaguarWhiteTiger's IG account is unparalleled. I'm in love with what this foundation does, and these big cats. Why not support the cause?
Finished Ronda Rousey's book. It's refreshing to read an autobiography by someone as famous as she is who write with honesty. There are moments she sucked, and didn't do the right thing, but it's about the journey, and it's a good read.
Need a laugh? Cut to 5:15 in Sprinkle of Glitter's vlog. After a sobfest of a day Saturday, I discovered this gem in "My Suggestions" on Youtube, and thank god for Louise.
I have a 3000 page paper to write tonight by midnight, so prayers would be accepted.
Growing up is weird. You think you're an adult, you think you have this big life and you've moved on from all those things you were when you were younger.
Then you drive away from doing your sister's wedding invitations at your mom's, with boxes of memories in the car, and realize it was probably the last afternoon you will have spent there and just sob.
It's the house I grew up in. It both broke me, and put me back together again.
The last place my family was a family, in the original sense. The last place where memories of my life with my dad were, before life went upside down on us.
It's a strange feeling because I have my own home for the past three years, but that house is such a part of my life, and in a about a week it'll be gone.
Well not gone, gone, but I can't exactly walk in anymore can I?
No seriously, can I?
Packing up 22 years of a home has been emotional. I found things I completely forgot about, and discovered other things I am thrilled to walk away with.
I'm not ready to close the door, but I never would be.
It's the right time now.
So I'll just be over here listening to Miranda Lambert's "House that Built Me" and crying for the next week or so.
Remember in 7th grade when you wanted to rebel when your mom told you not to drink coffee, so you'd wait until she left for work and brew a pot for yourself?
No?
Just me then. I've had a long love affair with this drink, and it just is more fun when you have something extra special to put it in.
I have several of Ashley Brooke's mugs, and this Boss one is at the top of my wish list now.
And I've been stalking this Harry Potter mug, trying to justify spending the money on it.
You guys the words appear when you pour the coffee in!
Doesn't this song remind you of that final song at the end of "Teen Witch"?
Well my weekend was spent buried under a pile of homework, but I've got it together and I'm ready for the next five days.
I realize I say this every week, but I'm serious this time. Finished the Ronda Rousey book, cleaned most of the mess my mom left from cleaning out her house, and meal prepped like a boss.
And by cleaned I mean stored it all in my "office" until I can handle facing it all.
Maybe it's because my family's wedding madness is about to kick off.
Maybe it's because professionally a lot of changes are happening.
Maybe it's because I turn 29 in a few weeks.
Maybe it's because I can hear the postman getting as shipment of September Issues and I can't wait to get my hands on them.
But I just have that feeling something is brewing that is going to alter my life again. I had this feeling last year and my mom and sister got engaged.
In the meantime, I'm stress baking this tasty treat from Rachel Zoe, and watching too much Bravo.
